Spring?

It's supposed to be the first day of spring. I drove home through snow last night....strange.
It's not frigid today....but it's not all promising of warmth and I don't really see any twitterpated birds flying around....
However....the promise on my calendar this morning made me smile...those that email with me may recognize this as my signature....
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

I love that scripture...and what a wonderful reminder - especially this time of year.

Saturday I went to bed around 10 and never really fell asleep...around 3:00 a.m. the dam broke and the sobs racked my body....which woke Bug. He held me until I stopped crying about an hour later....and then I got up and painted the kitchen...went back to bed sometime around 6...I think I slept for an hour and a half....woke again....dozed off...up at 9....baked pumpkin bread and muffins and invited the J brother over (mom was already scheduled to come). Cried some more remembering how much S loved pumpkin bread...cleaned my kitchen...cried some more...let J brother in, woke Bug....fed the menfolk and watched "the Burbs" (very strange movie)....talked to a good friend who was sweet enough to put palms on S's grave....cried....went back to strange movie....finished it....J went home....tried to rest....Bug made lunch, mom K and K's best friend came....ate lunch and visited with mom...cried...packed up and drove back to the city. By this point, my body hurt so much from the work and the crying I could barely turn my head....took some lovely theraflu and put myself to bed at 6:00 p.m.
Amazing. six years later and that day still rocks me to my core. I miss S so much. I know he's in glory and I'd never want to take him from that....I've been told I'm selfish for missing him...which always angers me because it's like hello, there is a big hole in my family now. You don't just forget about it....
I long for the day when we are all reunited.