OOH

Stumbled on this last week....and LOVE it.

Letters...and the reactions they produce.

I received a letter yesterday...and I was afraid to open it because it was from the people that I applied to for the first stage of getting certified as a sign language interpreter.....
See, I had sent in my application, my fee, my letters....and I got an email saying they would conduct interviews in July.....and July came and went and no interview...so I thought I must not have gotten in....and that crushed me because if you're reading this chances are you know how much sign language means to me and how badly I want to be state certified. So....I gave it to God and tried to calm down and thought maybe it was His divine way of telling me that there is too much on my plate...work...IAAP (I was recently elected to the executive board)....home life....trying to sell the house....etc......so maybe God was saying wait until there's less on my plate. And finally I accepted that and decided that God is sovereign and maybe He knows more about it than I do....ya know....typical me....

And yesterday. This letter arrives. A very thin envelope. My hands shook....here we go. Deep breath and don't throw up on the letter.

Dear [EYE] ok. so far so good.

We are delighted to confirm your acceptance into the Interpreter Training Preparation Program 2010-2011 year. Yup. this is about the part I started screaming and chick flailing and calling my husband.

WOOOO HOOOOOOO I GOT IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And oh talk about perfect timing...yesterday was a day where I cried...in front of people...and I didn't care that they saw me cry and again, if you're reading this you know that I think the only thing worse than crying is for people to see it.....

See, life has been a bit overwhelming lately. I work full time, which is nothing outrageous. I'm a full time wife. I'm an auntie who loves her pictures (HINT HINT HINT). I'm a homeowner trying desperately to not be one anymore, and having all sorts of issues.....thank God the buyers are patient! I'm a CAP. I'm learning the ropes to being on an executive board, and it's a huge honor and sometimes the responsibility is a bit intimidating.....and then of course, there were the family things and the health things (thank God, Bug does NOT have cancer!) and then the not sleeping because it's 9,000,000,000º in our apartment....and then the car things...and the little things added up yesterday....each one on its own totally dealable....but yesterday they all jumped on at once and squeezed out the tears.....and God reached down and gave me overwhelming joy.

He confirmed for the 10 billionth time that He heard me and He's got it and saw fit for that letter to arrive yesterday, just when I needed to be reminded that He does care about the desires of our hearts.....

There's a definite calling on my life with sign. And thanks be to God, I get to take the next step.

So my friends, HAPPY DANCE with me!

P.S. I had to chuckle at my Verse of the Day Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands... Yup. planning on working with my hands a lot over the next few months :-D

awwwww baby!!!

N&B welcomed their adorable little girl, LG into the world on Wednesday, July 21
oh my bob you guys she is so pretty!!
N says she's never dating...lol
She's a pretty mellow baby and N&B are just natural parents and make it look pretty easy.
I'll post a pic once I have their permission :)

makes ya go "hrm"

Psalm 34:4-5:I sought the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces are never covered with shame.

Never ceases to amaze me how a little verse on a pink calendar on my desk can be so perfect for what I'm going through each day....

More calendar lessons

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. ~Matthew 6:34 MSG Translation

dude....I don't even need to do the commentary thing for that one to sink into my brain and smack me around.

good stuff.

It never fails, when the stress is creeping back in after it's been banished, and I'm doing my best to remain calm and remember that I can do nothing, but God can do everything, something smacks me and makes me feel inferior....and then God....well....this verse was emailed to me this morning.

Now glory be to God, who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes. Ephesians 3:20 TLB

How's that for divine timing?
We got the next round of assumption papers for the house and filled them in and sent them on to the potential buyer....please keep that in prayer! The bank said it takes approximately 30 days after they receive this round of paperwork to make a determination.....so I'm working on being patient and not being anxious but in all things making my requests known to God....

July is going to be a crazy busy month....the usual summer craziness, but in addition to that, K sister is graduating (yeah, I know, wasn't she just 5 and sitting in the HA cafeteria while my mom made cookies yesterday????)
Uncle R and Aunt N are coming for a visit and we've got some short travel planned for various things. We're hoping to be able to take a short getaway for our anniversary in August.

Things are looking more homey at the new place and it really doesn't resemble a cardboard fort at all anymore - just a handful of boxes waiting for us to figure out which shelves and pictures are going where....then I get to work on a fun project....going through the digital camera and printing my favs and FINALLY putting the pics in the gorgeous collage frame we got from N Bro.

N bro & his wife are doing very well - baby girl should be here in August and momma is doing great. we have their shower in July too....

Well...that's about it for updates and good words....off to the grind for me

Brain Hungry! Need Food!

Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desertand streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19

Ooh...that one may take my brain all day to chew on....
Lately I've been in a funk, feeling down and feeling the weight of the many stressors around me crushing down and I've tried to fight it and tried to just "deal" and accept the stressors....then a wise person said to me "don't do that." Because as soon as I do that I am allowing that THING to be stress, and once that stress is removed, I allow the stress to capture something else. I need to not accept it. I need to pry my fingers off of it and look to God for peace. No, that doesn't mean that things will never get to me and that I won't feel pressure...it means that I won't let it surround me and take over my thoughts so that I'm lying awake every night mentally yelling at God for not letting me have "sweet peaceful sleep" like Psalms promises....

So...my mission...and I've chosen to accept it....is when those things hit me hard, oh and I bet the last doughnut and coffee they will, I need to look at it, praise God for the strength to get through and press on. Yesterday it manifested in the form of "God, help me to not let this steal my joy today" rather than crying in the ladies' room like I really wanted to.

Lessons from a calendar.

Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you.... That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything - Mark 11:22-24, MSG

It really shouldn't surprise me that this was my verse today on my calendar - God's been speaking to me a lot lately about my prayer life and how I will certainly pray when I'm in the valley of the shadow...but then I stand up, wipe my eyes and pick all my trials back up and wander back to my worry-fest. Wow...yeah, a little vulnerable today. But it's true. I talk to God, and I tell him I know that he can do everything and can fix what's going on and then I try to help. How hilarious is that? That my pea-brain thinks the almighty needs my help. Goodness, I can barely speak in whole sentences before the first cup of coffee and I think that I can help God move the mountains in my life? What an arrogant concept. We live in a world where we are almost trained to be arrogant - and we call it being confident, we call it being proud of who we are - and those two things on their own aren't bad - it's when we allow ourselves to cross that line and feel as though we are entitled to amazing things without doing anything.
I once heard an illustration of faith - I was 10. I was at summer camp and we were talking about chairs. The pastor said that faith is sitting in the chair. I looked at him wondering how that could be. Then he fleshed it out. I can look at a chair and say "I believe this chair will hold me." But until I actually sit in that chair confident it will hold me, I have no faith that my statement is true. Until I actually pry my fingers off my trials, I will never actually have faith that God will overcome them.
So....he's trying to get the concept through my brain in many fashions these days. Isn't it wonderful how much he cares? I'm convinced he shakes his head at me at least twice a day. "silly little girl, don't you get it yet? I've got you. And I promised no one shall pluck you out of my hand."

Go listen to this song....heard it a while ago and thought of it again today.

ooh...

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.- Corrie Ten Boom

I really wish I had heard this quote before the stress of the weekend began because it is oh so true....

Well...we're moved. We're exhausted and sore, but we're moved. We spent a lot of the weekend trying to find the right places for things and trying to find things we needed....I asked Bug when he thought it would start to feel like home. He said give it a week....right now it feels like we're visiting somewhere...living out of boxes and suitcases....our bed would not go back together so our mattress and boxspring are on the floor - and in the midst of being ready to break from the stress tension and exhaustion it hit me...how much had I been praying about the move and everything? I'm ashamed to admit just a few words here and there. By the time Saturday night rolled around, I was so worn down that my stomach was chewing itself to pieces. So I laid down and it hit me. I needed to pray. So I started with the way I was feeling and thanking God for our new place and a successful move and went on to protecting our marriage and getting us through settling in and guiding each step...I ended up falling asleep praying in the spirit. And for the first time in I don't know how long, I had peaceful dreams instead of ones where I woke up going "how on EARTH did my subconscious come up with that one???????"

Here's where you may all say "um, duh Eye." Yes, I know where my help and peace and strength (hee hee, and daily food for those that were just waiting for it....) come from. Why is it so darn hard to get it from the brain know to the practice know?

So last night I started re-reading The Forgotten God by Francis Chan. Amazing author (also wrote Crazy Love).....time to start remembering what powers the system....and I don't mean coffee this time.

God is faithful. We found not only a bed in our price range, but the new mattress we've been needing for a while...on sale....God rocks.

Sometimes it's good to remember the sad.

Trading My Sorrows ~ Darrell Evans
I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen
I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

About 8 years ago, a dear, dear friend received a message from God that I needed a book called Why God? for my birthday. This wonderful friend questioned God...that's an odd thing to give her for her birthday....but the friend was obedient. She bought the book. And she listened to God's leading and penned the song above into it. She had no idea that 6 days later my older brother would be killed in a senseless car accident.

Nor did she have any idea that 8 years later I would feel like I'm at the bottom of the hole and am so low I can't see the top...and she didn't know that I would remember the song, remember the book, remember her obedience to God, and remember that even though I feel like I'm stuck in the valley of the shadow this week....there's a way out, and that the tears will dry, and that God's still got me and even though I feel like I've had the tar beaten out of me and I don't understand why I am going through these trials.....the JOY comes with the morning.

Thank you so much, Ernie. I love you girlfriend.

Where are Bug and Eye?

Well....we're in a flurry of boxes!
We found a new place, it's adorable, and nice and roomy...3 bedrooms....big kitchen, gas fireplace (which we need to get inspected to see if we can fire up :) but then yay!)
We're working on a possible sale of the house....please keep that in prayer.

So, we're off to a very busy next few weeks....great fun, right?
I'll say this - aparently packing is a good workout because, um, ow? My muscles are a bit mad at me but oh so worth it.

nibble nibble

so...went well with the people looking at the house...and I got a call from another couple that wants to see it this weekend....so this is good....definitely headed in the right direction!

anxious today.

so the house in cville is being shown today.....
I'm trying so hard to just be at peace and know that God's got this and this may or may not be his answer to the "please get us out from under this mortgage!" cry....
but I can't help but be excited that maybe this is it and maybe there'll be an offer and maybe it will be enough and we can be free.....
please pray!

pensive today.

Missing my brother a lot lately.
It seems like there's triggers everywhere lately...some make me smile, others make me laugh....and then there's the ones that hurt so bad I have to check to make sure I'm not bleeding. Those are the exhausting ones.
Today I feel pensive, reflective and a little sad. I think about the things he's missing out on....he didn't see me get married...I know he would have been so happy for me and probably would have asked if my dress was big enough (there was a lot of poof to it once the train was bustled). He would have teased me about tripping down the aisle...but then he would have watched with a huge grin as I promised to love honor and cherish all the days of my life.

Yesterday I brought up you tube during my lunch and break....I played "Come Ye Sinners" several times.... We had a dear friend play some praise music during our wedding...that was one of the songs he played. The words to it are a balm to my soul on those days when everything hurts.....from missing my brother....to a hard day at work....to the trials that show up and smack us around....

I won't post the whole song...I really like Todd Agnew's version of it - but the chorus goes "I will arise and go to Jesus....and He will embrace me in his arms....and in the arms of my dear Savior, oh there are 10,000 charms..."

There's another line to the song that says "if you tarry until you're better, then you will never come at all...." That one got me yesterday. God is our great comforter....he supplies all of our needs....He's unfailing....but if I wait to go talk to him until I'm doing better...I'm never going to get there.... so...I'm going to arise and go to Jesus and be embraced by the love of his everlasting arms.

A case of the "Mondays"

what is it about Monday morning that is just purely exhausting? It doesn't seem to matter when I go to bed or how much rest I get on the weekend....Monday is just downright tiring.

Hrm. it's a mystery.

So things are good in our world...had some great time with the fam at a dinner....went to a birthday party for one of the nieces.....tried to declutter and start packing....wondered where on earth we'll end up moving....

That's the part that's got me all worked up...trying not to stress but it's really not working...

not much of an update today...blame it on Monday....LOL

Reflections

I remember watching a comedian....Jim Gafigan...terribly funny guy. Well, he was talking about Easter (many of his bits feature him doing both parts of the conversation)....and I won't get this exactly right, but here's the gist:
"Ok to celebrate Easter. We'll get a bunch of eggs.
but that doesn't make any sense
Ok. We'll hide them?
and this relates to the resurrection of Christ how?
It's ok - there's a bunny."

yeah, I laughed. But today it's got me thinking....how commercial things have gotten. I can remember when not a child around me didn't know that Easter was a celebration of Christ's Resurrection and everyone went to church and most girls got a new Easter dress and some little hats with matching purses and we'd go to church and hear for the millionth time the miracle and we'd sit in awe.

Today I look around and most kids haven't the foggiest idea what an Easter bonnet is or why on earth someone would want to go to church instead of diving into piles of candy....and while it is very well known that I am a huge proponent of eating much candy....the rest of it makes me sad. It's bad enough that the true meaning is lost....but it's also a crucial part of our heritage that's being skewed into a sugar coated commercialistic whatever you want to call it.
And that's my rant for the day.

We finally got our tax return and the laptop we've been talking about for two years and it's an adventure typing on it.....not only is it a "standard" keyboard (the one I have at work is ergonomic), I also have to get used to the heat sensitive mouse thingy that keeps moving my cursor when I get close to it....LOL
Hopefully this means that we'll find the cable to our camera and upload the pictures that have been sitting there since our honeymoon. Hrm. anyone interested in a slide show of a bunch of islands?

April Fool's Day

The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." Psalm 14:1-3

Driving to work I listened to my favorite Christian station - their April fool was to say that Jim Kelly came out of retirement. I chuckled a bit and thought of some of the April fool's pranks I've pulled over the years and contemplated tossing one or two out there today...but nothing came to mind. Ah well. such is life.

In other news....
My cousin welcomed her son into the world yesterday - 8 pounds, 7 ounces and all are doing great. This is a major praise because she started going into labor with him at around 20 weeks....they tried to stop it and finally did...to the point where she was induced yesterday! But we are praising God for a healthy baby and a healthy mama and for expanding this little family by one more.

My N brother sent a text a few weeks ago..."we're 3% sure it's a boy. Or....we're 97% sure it's a girl." Silly boy, but it brightened my day. Very excited for those two! Plus another baby to cuddle and kiss and hand back :)

I go back for another follow-up on Tuesday....the new med has been ok but often it burns when I get hungry and something tells me that shouldn't so much happen.....so we'll just talk to the doc and see what we have to do next because grazing all day hasn't been great for the whole losing weight portion of my goals.

Bug is doing well - work is crazy as usual, but it's work!!!

and now you're up to date!

*contented sigh*

I've been with my husband for about 6.5 years...we've been married a little over 1.5 years....and every day I find myself loving him more, being more attracted to him and life without him is a further distant memory....it feels like I've always been his wife....and at the same time like it was just yesterday that I was walking down the aisle in a very heavy white dress still beaming that this amazing and wonderful man picked ME.

It's like he spends his days dreaming up new ways to make me feel special and loved. And when that man looks at me I know that I'm the only star in his sky and that he doesn't think that a more beautiful woman exists - and that makes me smile.

I had discovered quite a long time ago that I needed to thank God for my husband every day, to pray for him, to pray for our marriage and to make sure that God is at the center of it - and let me just tell you - it makes marriage that much richer.

hmm...

Isn't it amazing how trained we are? I'm not talking about trained in the sense of fitness....I'm talking about the way we convince ourselves that something we feel always has to mean one thing. This morning I woke up with a knot in my stomach. I of course translated it to mean I was anxious about something. So I drove myself crazy for a couple of hours trying to figure out what I had to be so anxious about...did I forget to do something? As my morning went on and I assured myself I had not, the knot felt a little different....and my stomach growled. Oh. I was hungry. I'm not usually hungry in the morning - and extremely rarely when I first get out of bed....so here, I added stress to my day convinced I knew exactly what was up by one fleeting thought. How often do we do that to ourselves every day? The fleeting thought of how good a hamburger tastes means "my body needs what's in that burger." Or...it could be that I just drove past a fast food restaurant and smelled burgers....

I've struggled with anxiety for years. It's something I find myself talking to God about quite a bit and then getting frustrated wondering why He hasn't taken it from me. This morning it hit me like a 2x4.

Because I won't let Him. I was looking for worry this morning - looking for something to be anxious about rather than looking to see what else I could be feeling that way for - wow. That was a hard realization. So I had to ask for forgiveness. And now I'm trying to remind myself that I should "Be anxious for nothing but in all things present my needs to God through prayer and supplication." and that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, a spirit of power and a SOUND mind."

That means that it's not in God's plan for me to stress and fret and to make this stomach thing worse. It's in His plan that I turn to Him and tell him what I'm thinking and cast my worries and woes on Him and then - and here's the big thing - not get up and take them all back with me. So easy to type. So hard to do. But with God's grace, I can do it - I just have to keep remembering to let go.

meh.

I woke up just not feeling like myself today...then little things throughout my morning continued to poke me and deflate me and now I'm just feeling very quiet, very introverted and discouraged today.

I fell way off track while we were vacationing....I'm trying not to beat myself up, and trying to focus on moving forward and planning a nice walk with my husband tonight.I got my biopsy results - Praise the Lord, nothing scary is wrong. It's the reflux issue ...which is treated with meds and diet - kind of a pain to deal with, but better than many of the alternatives! besides - God healed my heart - why not my stomach too?

We had a great time in Virginia visiting some friends and hugging on a baby.

We also got to to go the Crime & Punishment museum in D.C. - now that is a wicked cool place. We spent a few hours there, got some starbucks and headed off for foods.....delightful!