so...do you think they have birthday celebrations in Heaven? Do you think Shawn knows it's his birthday and that I miss him and wish I could have called him at 6 this morning to sing him the silliest birthday song I could dream up? Do you think he knows he'd be 28 today?
I feel odd...like I know something's wrong but like my subconscious is trying to protect me from it...it's one of those days when the hole is is the giraffe in the room again....how do you not notice?
Shawn was so funny...he'd call at 6 to be the first to say happy birthday...he'd dream up fun ways to wrap a present and he never missed one....all of those siblings and he never missed one....
Part of me wishes I had known it would be his last birthday....I would have done something huge....driven up there dressed as a cake or something....
I hope he knew how much I love him....and how much those calls meant to me...
you know...it was the day after my birthday that I had my last conversation with him? My last words to him were I love you, I'll talk to you later....I'll never regret that...
He left me seven messages on my birthday to make sure he talked to me....and six days later....well...I don't want to start crying so I'm gonna just post and go.
2 comments:
this is one of those posts that I don't have the "right" words, except to say I know what you mean about missing someone you love. I can just picture my grandpa telling Jesus to hurry up and finish this party so he can hold his great-grandsons for the first time. blech..
come, Lord Jesus.
I'm so with you.
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