Quiet Reflection

I'm in a quiet reflective mood today....maybe because my usual morning frustrations were worked out by finding my car under the snow, maybe something else...but pensive today.

The Lord is gracious and merciful, show to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made.... The Lord is faithful in all his words, and gracious in all His deeds. Psalm 145:8-9,13 MSG translation

That right there could be enough to inspire peace for a day...a week...a lifetime...to remember that our wonderful Lord and Savior is gracious, that He's merciful, that he's forgiving and kind and THERE and is guiding me through the paths of life. He's there when I'm trying to decide which road is safest to get to work, guiding me. He's there when I'm trying to find the energy to get through the day....He's always there. And he's never going to run out of patience with me when I get worn out, when I stumble and fall and screw up. I'm convinced God shakes his head and laughs at me at least twice day. But he never gets frustrated and walks away.

mmm....yup. that's what we needed

Be generous with me and I'll live a full life; not for a minute will I take my eyes off your road. Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of your miracle-wonders Psalm 119:17-18 MSG

Open my eyes - that statement says so much. How often are we praying and praying and praying and praying for something....and we miss it because we can't be "bothered" to stop praying and see that our prayer was answered?

There's this song by Stephen Curtis Chapman called Waiting for Lighting...are you waiting for lighting? a sign that it's time for a change? are you listening for thunder, while he quietly whispers your name?

ouch. yeah. maybe I do that...ok....so maybe I do that a lot.......
so how do we fix it? how do we shut out the world? how do we know when to stop praying and start praising? Because aren't we told to be persistent? Aren't we told to pray without ceasing?

yes...but we are also told in all things to present our requests with prayer and.....THANKSGIVING.....
oh...yeah...that could work.....pry my eyes off of me for three seconds and realize it's not really about me is it?

ow. or how I spent my Monday

So we had a delightful weekend...we traveled to littlecville to see the birthday boy and hug on the family a bit...Sunday we had brunch with a dear friend and headed home....got home and didn't feel quite so right....so I brewed up some ginger tea and sipped on it...around 7 my stomach revolted...and again around 8....tried to sip some juice....bad idea.....I think I threw up last week's dinner....then it continued on nearly hourly for the entire night. Around 1 am, I got nervous because no one should ever vomit that much bile...especially not at one time...tried to get back to sleep...and of course was up at 2, 2:30, 3...4....and at 5 couldn't really breathe...so I woke the bug and we took an all-expense paid trip to the emergency room....where the world's most wonderful nurse took amazing care of me and stood outside the bathroom door while my stomach revolted yet again...
then she wasted no time hooking me up to fluids, getting me some anti-nausea and some pain meds and reassuring me that they'd get tests run asap.....
at first they were thinking a gall stone stuck in the common bile duct..which of course sounded quite scary.

Turned out to be a simple case of esophogitis and gastroenteritis. Yeesh. So they gave me some anti-nausea meds and ulcer meds and sent me home with orders to go easy on my system and clear liquids for a little while (hey man, doc said I HAVE to eat Jell-o for dinner ;D)

So, I'm ok. albeit exhausted and pretty sore....but God is good.

(insert witty title here)

So...in venturing through blogdom and picking up my phone, I've been surrounded with news of babies! Very exciting! Lots of little ones to borrow :)

Things are pretty good on our end...we said goodbye to the neon with the failing transmission...we said hello to the "new" Buick (oh Eye LOVE it!).

We're working tons, but that's how bills get paid, right? I'm down 2 pounds total from my ventures into healthier lifestyle....I'm bummed that it's only 2 pounds.....but....I should also be thrilled that it's at least stayed steady for a little bit. Wanna hear something funny? Yesterday, I thought I BLEW my day....I over did it on the fiber during the day so my stomach was good and mad by the time I got home...so I fixed a grilled cheese sandwich and grabbed a small handful of chips.....thinking, eh, at least I'll feel better. Logged into Spark this morning....I was UNDER my calorie goals for the day! ha!

This weekend we're heading to LittleCVille for the youngest nephew's first birthday party (he turned one yesterday....where did the year go??). I called my sister yesterday and told her that I was thrilled that I got much more sleep this year than I did that day last year...she laughed and said that even getting up at 7 she did too....(I got up at 3 to be in town in time to go with her to the hospital at 5....*shudder*).

I know...this is a boring post and there are no pictures. But hey, now you know I am alive, my hands haven't been glued together and I remember how to type - these are all good things, I assure you :)

I haven't had much time home lately so no yummerific pics to post....hopefully I'll get a chance to cook over the next few weekends....although, the freezer is pretty much stuffed with healthy fast frozen options....(have you tried the fake chicken patties by morningstar farms? mm mm mm!)

and on that note.....I'm going to stop talking about food and drink another glass of water.....
did you know that you are actually dehydrated when you wake up? yup. you may not feel it, but you actually are - so it is vital to your body and your metabolism that you drink a glass of water first thing!

One foot in front of the other....

So.....
I've boldly and fearfully shared my goal to lose weight...I've put myself out there and am becoming accountable.

Last night I was sharing my frustrations with Bug and he brought out two sheets of notebook paper. On one he had listed his goals, the other was for me. We talked about what we needed to do to meet those goals and how we would celebrate once we got there...we talked about how we can workout together without renewing the gym membership....how we can cheer each other on and strive to cook more meals than not....to put some control back into what goes into our stomachs....olive oil vs. butter....grapes vs. dessert.....
and he made an excellent point.
Instead of saying "I am going to eat less fried things" I should say "I am going to eat more raw veggies." because the second I mention the fried foods...that's all I'm going to think about...and I'll gnaw my way through half the kitchen before giving in and eating the darn fries....

Interesting.

So...I managed to put two pounds back on. And I tried my hardest not to get upset...but it did upset me....and so I comforted myself with a snack....what is wrong with me?
I'm miserable at this weight. My clothes don't fit, I don't have any energy and yet....it's not enough to kick my butt into gear. hrm.

Fortunately, I have a husband who cares about my goals and manages to help me focus toward them rather than making me feel like he thinks I'm fat. In fact, he gets rather annoyed with me when I am down on myself about my weight and feeling like I am less attractive since we got married....he gently kisses me, tells me that I am beautiful and suggests that maybe I'd like an apple instead of ice cream....
and you know what? I appreciate it.

I LOVE YOU BUG!!!!!

So...I hung the eat better America healthified recipe calendar in the kitchen and here we go.